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It Ain’t Easy Being Black Girls.
My closest friends and I often share this sentiment, be it at brunch, over the phone, or during our frequent FaceTime calls. There are so many daily challenges driven largely by our mutual desire to “rise to every occasion.” It isn’t easy, but there are many moments when it is so worth it: the natural feeling of camaraderie you get when you meet another like-minded black woman, the joy of seeing other black women succeed, and the support you receive and give in abundance to those you love.
There is nothing like being a Black woman, and while I wouldn’t trade this life for any other, I can also acknowledge that it is unique in both its beauty and challenges. With all of that in mind, I feel like Jayne Allen’s debut novel “Black Girls Must Die Exhausted” beautifully summarizes one Black woman’s experience, both personally and professionally. It sheds light on so many of the nuances that make Black womanhood so special while also highlighting the character’s unique experiences.
This book speaks to the woman in me who wants to have both a successful career and a fulfilling family life. I feel like so much of what it means to be a black woman is tied to one’s ability to thrive under pressure, and there are rarely books written that highlight the struggles of that pressure, or all of the ways we may sometimes fail to cope. “Black Girls Must Die Exhausted” doesn’t miss the chance to show both sides of the experience—the good and the bad. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book.
Some of my favorite moments in the book were the conversational bits, which I found surprising. I often live for the descriptions and glimpses into the mind of the main character, but the conversations had by the main character (Tabitha Walker) were always right on time and full of wisdom. I loved them. The title itself comes from a conversation she has with her grandmother, a white woman, who tells her that she often found herself thinking that “Black girls, they sure must die exhausted”. Through these conversations, I found myself developing an affinity for almost every character in the book.
There are no villains in this story, at least not to me. Just people trying to figure out where they fit into the world that Jayne Allen describes. Our heroine, Tabitha Walker, is someone I found myself both rooting for and being disappointed in throughout the novel. She appears to have it all on paper but receives some devastating news from her doctor early on in the novel that knocks her off balance and sets so many of the book’s major plot points into motion. Her relationships with her best friends, her boyfriend, her parents, and her grandmother (also her namesake) provide her with perspective, but they also lead to some painful revelations.
I found myself wishing that Tabitha was more decisive at times. In hindsight though, I think I just wanted her to effortlessly make the decisions that even I find so hard to make in this life. I wanted her to be more. With that in mind, I feel like the development of her character was so intentional and she is meant to just be. She is meant to be imperfect, indecisive, and unsure. She is meant to be confused and scared. She is meant to stumble. The very things I wanted to change about her humanize her to the point of recognition. I know women just like Tabitha Walker and, in a lot of ways, I am one of them.
All in all, this was such an enjoyable read. I’m currently working my way through the series, and I know I’ll miss it when I finish the last book and her story ends. I’ll be writing reviews on the other two novels in the series so check them out here.
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